I tried to tell my boss that my unexplained absence was because I was so Completely Freaked Out (CFO) that I didn’t know what to do all weekend except hide like a little crybaby coward in the Big, Beautiful Mogambo Bunker (BBMB) waiting for the inevitable collapse of the entire world order because of the massive over-creation of money by the foul Federal Reserve, where I whimpered and cried in fear because We’re Freaking Doomed (WFD) and there is nothing – repeat, nothing! – that can be done.
Naturally, I lost track of time, and so my absence is completely understandable and not my fault, but is, instead, the fault of the foul, filthy Federal Reserve creating so much money, for so long, that the US economy has been turned into a bloated, cancerous, twisted, bloated, government-centric grotesquerie that has almost destroyed us.
I didn’t tell her that through the mist of my bitter tears, though, I still managed to get a good laugh from the quixotic earnestness of Erskine Bowles and Alan Simpson, chairmen of some idiotic National Commission on Fiscal Responsibility and Reform trying to craft a plan to reduce government spending in an effort to reduce the national debt. (more)